Farewell My Singapore -

And yet, I do not belong. That is the quiet ache of the expatriate, the migrant, the sojourner. I have lived here long enough to know the shortcuts, the best nasi lemak , the unspoken rules of queuing with a tissue packet. But I will never know what it means to sing the national anthem in a school hall with a hand over my heart. I will never know the fear of Merdeka or the pride of National Day from the inside. I am a guest. A grateful, heartbroken guest.

Farewell, my Singapore. Farewell to the shophouses of Joo Chiat, painted in pastel blues and yellows like a Wes Anderson film. Farewell to the Singlish I finally learned to speak— "Can, can," "Alamak," "Don't shy-shy" —words that will sound foreign on my tongue back home. Farewell to the perpetual summer, where Christmas comes with palm trees and air-conditioning. farewell my singapore

But know this, Singapore: You made me a better person. You taught me that a nation does not need a thousand years of history to have a soul. You taught me that a multiracial dream—Chinese, Malay, Indian, Eurasian—can work, even when it is fragile, even when it is imperfect. You taught me that success is not luck. It is kiasu determination, it is planning, it is the refusal to fail. And yet, I do not belong

I learned to walk slowly here. In the beginning, I walked fast—like a foreigner, always chasing time. But Singapore taught me the art of the leisurely stroll through the Botanic Gardens at dusk, when the monitor lizards slip into the water and the fruit bats hang upside down like forgotten umbrellas. It taught me that in a nation famous for speed, the most important things move slowly: the growth of an orchid, the patience of a hawker perfecting the same bowl of noodles for forty years, the way a friendship forms over shared teh tarik in a coffee shop. But I will never know what it means

And I will.

But my Singapore is not just the skyline of Marina Bay or the perpetual construction cranes that promise tomorrow’s future. My Singapore is the kopi-o uncle who remembers my order after three years. Siew dai (less sweet). He never asks my name. He just nods when he sees my face. My Singapore is the elderly Indian auntie feeding pigeons in the void deck of a Toa Payoh flat, even though it is technically illegal. My Singapore is the smell of durian mingling with jasmine at the wet market, the sound of Chinese opera drifting from a community center, the taste of laksa that burns my tongue in the best possible way.

I am not leaving because I am unhappy. I am leaving because visas expire, because lives are itineraries, because love for a country does not always grant you the right to stay.