Las Mujeres Que Aman Demasiado Patricia Faur -

In the end, Las Mujeres Que Aman Demasiado is not a self-help book. It is a requiem for the self we sacrificed on the altar of "understanding." And a quiet, radical invitation: to let the wrong love die, so that you—for the first time—might finally live.

The unavailable man needs you to be desperate. Your desperation is his oxygen. It keeps him from having to look at his own emptiness. And you, in turn, need his unavailability to avoid looking at yours. It is a dance of mutual avoidance, disguised as a love story.

The deepest cut of the book is this:

The unavailable man, the addict, the narcissist, the emotionally frozen—they are not accidents. They are carefully chosen keys that fit perfectly into the lock of her past. If her father was distant, she will find distance irresistible. If she was never seen as a child, she will spend her adult life trying to prove her worth to men who are fundamentally incapable of seeing her. The drama is not a flaw in the relationship; it is the point of the relationship. It is the only language of intimacy she knows.

The path out is not finding a "better man." It is becoming a woman who no longer requires a man to be broken in order to feel worthy. Las Mujeres Que Aman Demasiado Patricia Faur

The woman who loves too much has a contract with pain. She believes that if she suffers enough, she will earn love. She confuses chaos with intensity. A calm, available, loving man feels boring —because where is the challenge? Where is the familiar ache of being abandoned? Without the crisis, she doesn't know who she is.

To recover, Faur suggests, is not to learn to love less. It is to learn to turn that fierce, obsessive, vigilant love . It is to sit in the terrifying silence of a Sunday afternoon with no drama, no man to save, no fire to put out. It is to look at the little girl inside who learned that love is a transaction of pain for attention, and to tell her: You don't have to earn it anymore. In the end, Las Mujeres Que Aman Demasiado

This is not a book about romance. It is a book about the .