18: Rain

I turned off my computer. I walked outside. I sat on the curb in front of my building—a different curb, in a different city, in a different life. A neighbor yelled, "Hey, you're going to get wet!"

At eighteen, you are still porous. You haven't yet built the calluses of adulthood. When the rain hits your skin at that age, it doesn't just get you wet; it gets into you. It becomes a character in your story. It was the rain that ruined your first road trip. It was the rain that soaked through your graduation gown, making the cheap polyester stick to your arms like a second skin. It was the rain that fell the night you said goodbye to your best friend, knowing you would never really be kids again. Rain 18

It isn't the soft, forgiving drizzle of childhood that sends you running indoors for hot chocolate. Nor is it the desperate, apocalyptic downpour of your late twenties, when a flood in your basement apartment means a $2,000 deductible and a fight with your landlord. No, Rain 18 is different. It is the theatrical, romantic, devastatingly loud rain of transition. I turned off my computer

— For the girl in the yellow raincoat, wherever you are. A neighbor yelled, "Hey, you're going to get wet

"No," I shouted back.

If you are lucky—or unlucky, depending on the day you ask—you will remember the exact moment the sky broke open when you were eighteen. For me, it was a Tuesday in May. Graduation was a rumor. The future was a fog. And the rain fell like a curtain call. Why do we remember the weather from our eighteenth year so vividly? Neuroscientists might call it the "reminiscence bump"—the tendency for humans to encode powerful memories between the ages of 15 and 25. But poets call it something else. They call it awareness .

But at 18, the rain is a blank page. You haven't made your big mistakes yet. You haven't broken anyone's heart (or had yours truly broken). You are standing at the edge of the map, and the cartographer has written: Here there be dragons.